The Value of Beauty

When asked if she had any regrets in life Eleanor Roosevelt plainly answered, "Just one. I wish I had been prettier." When I read about this women's incredible life and triumphs over personal adversity, I am brought to this new place in my mind where I'm curious to understand why we place so much value on beauty. Even someone as significant and prominent as Eleanor Roosevelt wished that she could have been more beautiful.

Spanning every generation and across the world, beauty is universally treasured and sought after. Many ancient civilizations all over the world had objects of beauty that were revered and prized. Famous painters have sought after illustrating and capturing a glimpse of true beauty. Musicians have written songs describing the joy and wonderment of seeing or falling in love with a beautiful person. Animals in nature behold elaborate markings and detailing that attract others for purposes of mating and survival. In generations past, and today still, a beautiful woman is more likely to attain the affections of a successful male partner. As a commodity to trade with, a woman's beauty and sexuality could be given in return for a male to provide shelter, food, and protection. Studies show that we are also more likely to view someone as "healthy" if they are attractive.

“Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time.” -Albert Camus

Beauty also reflects our desire to further and advance our social status. Our society is rampant with endorsing and selling the idea of beauty to create 'an image' that you are successful and accomplished. "If you wear this designer, or this make up, or have this surgery, or take this pill, or only weigh this much... you too can be successful and attractive."  How we appear to others, even if it's entirely false, is of the utmost importance. Surely in this day in age you would think that with having all of our resources at our fingertips, with huge advancements in gender equality and all of the health teaching we are doing that emphasize the importance of character over looks, we wouldn't be so desperate to attain beauty at all costs.

It was said by philosopher Santayana that beauty is "pleasure objectified". It is quite pleasing to gaze upon a lovely work of art, a baby laughing or to witness a serene mountainscape at daybreak. A thing of beauty is certainly a source of pleasure and enjoyment as well as offers up a means of escape from reality.

I wonder to what extent people feel that in some way their inner value is reflected through their external appearance. And when they see an attractive person, they come to the conclusion that the person's appearance is mirroring their inner self. Therefore, the 'better you look, the better a person you are'. Unfortunately, or fortunately, this is not true.

If beauty is all in the 'eye of the beholder', then beauty is completely subjective. It ends up being whatever you say it is, whatever is pleasurable to you specifically and thus has no definition. If this is the case, then beauty becomes meaningless.

When you look at the history and science behind it all, it's easy to see just how fundamentally 'hard wired' we are to place so much value in beauty. But in that statement alone, is where I believe the answer to be found. The act of 'placing value' in something is an action: an action that is equally driven by a choice. How much merit and value you place in your external appearance, or the appearance of others, is completely your choice.

I'm not saying that I think everyone should stop wearing makeup and touching up their roots... God forbid!! We'd be a hideous bunch for sure! I think that making an effort in your personal appearance is quite healthy and normal. We do have a society to fit into, and social acceptance and conformity, to some extent, are extremely valuable and essential. Taking pride in your appearance and making yourself look attractive is a fundamental part of what it means to be human.

That being said, there is some 'self-discipline' required in this goal of attaining beauty. It's a slippery slope to fall into and with the media and various social constraints telling us what is attractive. It's so easy to be deceived and manipulated into this constant, never ending quest to be beautiful. Quite frankly, I think it's one of the most selfish pursuits of our culture. When I think about women crying or feeling depressed over blemishes, wrinkles, back fat, cellulite and grey hair it seems so absurd. If you were to place that same woman, staring in the mirror at how ugly she 'thinks' she is... then place them beside some starving child in Africa you immediately see how vain and sad the situation is.

When I'm tempted to feel down about how inadequate, fat and ugly I feel, compared to Giselle Bundchen or that young, new, perky 22 year old co-worker, I have to stop myself immediately. I force myself to say, "Don't act like an idiot!" There are so many more important things happening in life that deserve your attention and energy. There are so many character traits that are vastly more important than looks. Instead worrying about how you look why not take that same energy to be: more productive, or spend more time with your family, or appreciate your own inner value.

Sometimes I need to have a self-talk and say to myself, "You're a good person, you work and contribute, you are honest and don't lie or steal, you love with your whole heart, you help people in need, you are intelligent and funny...etc." It sounds corny but, I'm making a conscience effort to place value into the things that I have control over and that are genuinely important.

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."  -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

The most beautiful women in the world have insecurities about their looks. Linda Evangelista hates the way her mouth is shaped, Jennifer Aniston doesn't like her butt, Jessica Alba has said, "My boobs are saggy, I've got cellulite, and my hips are bigger...every actress out there is more beautiful than me", Keira Knightly hates her tiny boobs and her whole body in general, and Angelina Jolie hates her lips! To hear this is quite shocking, but in a way I'm not overly surprised. They are in the lime light and on a stage in front of the world as icons of beauty. How much more pressure and anxiety they must feel to uphold a specific standard of attractiveness. But of course they're not perfect, and what we would see as tiny flaws they probably see as a huge and detrimental defect. It's the same for me. If I get a small blemish I can become completely devastated and think myself to look utterly and completely grotesque. To the rest of the world though, they wouldn't even notice it most likely (I hope...lol).

I will conclude with a lovely and eloquent speech on the subject of beauty by Lupita Nyong'o.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPCkfARH2eE

Cheers,
Bootsy

My breasts are saggy, I’ve got cellulite, my hips are bigger…every actress out there is more beautiful than me
Read more at http://bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/Jennifer-Aniston-and-nine-other-celebs-who-love-and-hate-their-bodies.html#HZTWrZQBxyAQdAke.99

“My breasts are saggy, I’ve got cellulite, my hips are bigger…every actress out there is more beautiful than me,”
Read more at http://bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/Jennifer-Aniston-and-nine-other-celebs-who-love-and-hate-their-bodies.html#HZTWrZQBxyAQdAke.99

“My breasts are saggy, I’ve got cellulite, my hips are bigger…every actress out there is more beautiful than me,”
Read more at http://bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/Jennifer-Aniston-and-nine-other-celebs-who-love-and-hate-their-bodies.html#HZTWrZQBxyAQdAke.99

“My breasts are saggy, I’ve got cellulite, my hips are bigger…every actress out there is more beautiful than me,”
Read more at http://bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/Jennifer-Aniston-and-nine-other-celebs-who-love-and-hate-their-bodies.html#HZTWrZQBxyAQdAke.99